Arguendera

“La UVA,” is a Mexican slang acronym used for a group of women friends, an acronym that stands for la Unidad de Viejas Arguenderas – the union of gossipy female Elders.
Sharing information about neighbors or relatives or other people is labeled gossip when it is being done by women. Yet this kind of communication can convey unmet needs and strengthen neighborhoods, even save lives. Calling it gossip keeps us behind our separate doors and guts communal power. The brilliant short-story writer Grace Paley said, “It is the responsibility of writers to listen to gossip and pass it on. It is the way all storytellers learn about life.”
I had a friend named JD who was one of the most responsible people I have ever known. She was not a writer. She was someone who listened acutely to life around her. Sometimes when she learned of a situation, she took the responsibility to “pass it on” to authorities. Often she protected and served her neighborhood by quietly taking care of problems herself. She was a woman passionate about justice.
The way JD kept an eye on her neighborhood was to watch from her third floor window and track cars on the street. She usually knew who was visiting whom, who the drug dealers were, and who was sick or had taken a fall, what time the teens got home. If a cop knocked on a door on her street, JD would note his squad car license, and soon know what was up. She had a sixth sense about what a healthy community looked and felt like, and an alarm sense when something or someone was out of place and threatened the peace. Was she a busybody? Is a busybody someone who cares enough to be in easy, constant vigil for her neighbors? I never heard her gossip, but her listening ears were highly tuned to local doings.
JD didn’t spread rumors. She gave attention to scuttlebutt but not to slander. She simply and silently did what was needed, usually behind the scene. Knocking on a door to check on someone’s well-being. Secretly burning down a building that needed to disappear. Shooting the serial rapist who broke in through her window. JD knew something was amiss with Mind-your-own-business morality. She saw it as a ploy to keep us disconnected and powerless. She believed in community and she lived that belief every day. She took her time to form her opinions and she kept them open for reconsideration. She was a petite redhead of about 100 pounds, her face usually hidden behind very thick glasses. When she took them off, her beauty radiated. But make no mistake. If you messed with her people, this five-foot dynamo would see you taken down.
She never lived long enough to be in an UVA, but if she had, she would have taken the responsibility to heart, and would have made a faithful and ferocious Arguendera. Do you feel isolated? Is too much mind-your-own-business killing your spirit? Maybe you need a vibrant UVA in your neighborhood. Maybe there’s one already. Let JD inspire you. Start with a personal block watch. Put a chair on the sidewalk outside your door, start tuning in, see what happens.