Aftershock of Loss

In the vanishing quickness,
we poured ourselves
into one another.
Then each of us
walked
in a different direction,
filled with one another.

The clicking of the gate!
My instinctive and unbidden
lifting of anticipation –
in spite of certain knowing
that it cannot be the one,
that it will not be
the one who used to come.

Steps outside the door!
My heart hauls up,
I lift my eyes even when I know.
I tell myself,
anything is possible.
But there will be no smiling face
coming through to greet me.

How out of our control
the reflex rise and fall
of memory’s reverberations,
which have no ground in current time.
Each day the truth is grasped again,
I brace against the surge
of aftershock that follows hope.

In the vanishing quickness,
we poured ourselves
into one another.
Then each of us
walked
in a different direction,
filled with one another.

©Susa Silvermarie 2022